Happy December 2020
Can you believe that despite all the challenges this year had for us and we are almost towards the end of this year! How would you rate 2020? in some ways I would give it 1 star on yelp. However, there are some aspects of my life this year that, if it wasn't for how it shook me and pulled the rug from underneath, I am not sure my life would be taking an amazing turn that started through the challenges we have survived.
This has been the most challenging year of my life for many reasons. This reasons include my overall wellbeing, but primarily my mental health as I started suffering from anxiety through the beginning of the Pandemic. Slowly but surely, I am learning to help this anxiety work for me and to channel that energy towards something that is beneficial instead of letting it corrode my mind. I believe we all have some anxiety, and specially the more we want something, the more anxiety can give us analysis of paralysis.
The thing is friends...unfortunately it is not that simple...for some people anxiety may need to get to a point that is bad enough that you scream of the top of your lungs and yell "ENOUGH!!!!!" and get moving towards what you want most in your life. It takes a lot of effort, self discipline, shedding the old and building a new you. I can assure you that once you decide that enough is enough, changing your mental state so that it is in alignment with the new core beliefs you want to have, you can truly achieve anything you really want.
You need to plan your new life goals with laser focus. These goals will require determination and grit. It IS possible to take control and end the cycle of your anxiety woes once and for all but only you can believe that. Remember that whatever you believe, can become your reality. This stuff may not work for everyone, I cannot tell you if it will or not, only YOU know that. You know yourself better than anyone else. Or let's just put it this way... You have the ability to know yourself better than anyone else. Even if you do not know yourself yet.
My best advise is to sit with the pain of the past failures and the old you, feel it as deep as it is needed, sometimes we just brush over things that have hurt us in the past and pretend everything is ok. Specially, the more we care about making other people happy the more we can tend to shut our own emotions down. Which by the way, I will talk about more in another post. In the past I was always trying to make everyone else happy to that point that I was making myself unhappy. I was on autopilot.
When you begin to shed the old you, you may go through phases. These phases will help you understand so many things. You may begin to see ugliness in humankind. We need to understand how bad people operate too, so that we don't fall in their trap. You may begin to even see it within yourself. You may experience emotions that are truly yucky and extremely uncomfortable. Hey I never said this would be easy! We will begin to see that when unfavorable things happen to us, sometimes we may have a bit of responsibility being part of the cause. That's not being harsh with yourself. I think that's learning to be mature and to take responsibility for our actions.
Then after a while, you may begin to understand that we are all flowed and that is totally ok to be so...I mean like really understand our human flaws. Please be patient with the process, but most importantly be KIND to yourself.
After some time introspecting, if you want to allow the process of course, change will begin to take place. The change may take months, maybe for some years.... After that long journey during your hike through life at the top of the mountain look down and admire all the detail you see. Once you are there, it's important to enjoy it for as long as possible and to start taking it all in. Allow it to feed your soul. It will help you understand why it was so difficult to cross over throughout your journey, why you scraped your legs and fell down despite all efforts at times, why you were so thirsty and why despite believing something with all your heart, it didn't happen exactly as you expected it would, and lastly why it was all worth it after all there is no gain if there is no pain.
With Love,
Lina Koutaich
